I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize
