You're so nebulous sometimes
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
Randomize
