Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Randomize
