I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
Randomize
