god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
