Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
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