so that wasnt chicken after all
Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
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