why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Randomize
