I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
Randomize
