You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
Randomize
