I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Randomize
