Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
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