Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
Randomize
