shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
