All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
Randomize
