sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Randomize
