he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
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