I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
