she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
