i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Randomize
