Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
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