Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
