my dad came in to wish me a happy birthday and found me passed out in my underwear with the lights on and a plate of meat on the bed. i bet he was proud to have contributed to my creation in that moment.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
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