I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
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