It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
Randomize
