So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
Randomize
