im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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