so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
Randomize
