Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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