guys are only as good as the porn they watch
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
as a side note pls kill me
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize
