Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
Just fell off a train. Bad.
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
