I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
it glows. i had to have it.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
Randomize
