Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
