So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
Randomize
