We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Randomize
