Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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