Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
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