so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Randomize