that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Randomize
