so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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