I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
