You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
