I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
