So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
