Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
