Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
