I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
Randomize
