question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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