and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
Randomize
