Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
No subtext here. People are naked.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
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